Wan of a Kind V2.0

Some of my friends have asked me why I have stopped blogging. The truth is I have been busy writing my book Through the Valley: The Grace of Ageing and Dying Well . Now that I have completed it, I will try to blog more regularly. Please accept my apologies. I am a champion of good neighbourliness and have been promoting the idea that we can be friends by choice even though we are neighbours by chance. Over the years, I have reached out to my neighbours by organizing Let’s Makan and initiating greetings and other social contacts to develop friendship. And what have I to show for my effort, you may ask. Truth is, there is latent kindness in all of us – waiting to be unlocked by simple initiatives of reaching out with a smile, a word of greeting, a simple conversation and an opportunity to have a drink or a meal together. Here’s how my neighbours have responded to us: One evening, I came home after work only to find that my wife was not in and I did not have the house key wi...

I have been travelling for 5 weeks on a cruise, visiting 21 countries and 30 cities. Some of you have been following me on my Facebook where I posted my travelogue. In the course of my travels, I interviewed 20 people for my book From Living Well to Leaving Well . One of my interviewees is a retired lawyer who was diagnosed to be afflicted with Aortic Dissection, an inoperable condition. He was told that he had from 3 months to 20 years to live. I met him, his wife and his best friend and his wife on the ship. His friends who were not fond of cruising decided to accompany him on this cruise. My wife and I were privileged to be invited into their circle of foursome, and we shared some meals and onshore exploration together. I noticed how thoughtful, considerate and caring his friends were to him. It was a wonderful expression of kindness in friendship. I am reminded of what Marcus Tullius Cicero, a Roman statesman, lawyer, scholar, and writer wrote in the first century BC, “Fri...

I introduced Lars Peter in my Facebook post from Copenhagen a few days ago. He is a 56-year-old gentleman from Greenland whom we met at his "home" which is the doorstep of a church in the heart of Copenhagen, a stone's throw away from the palace. He was sitting on the steps of the church doorway with his broken tricycle parked at the side. Seeing us approaching, he gestured and said, "The church is closed. It is only opened on Sunday morning for service. It's my home the rest of the time." His English was perfect. I introduced myself and Ruth. He said, "How do you do? My name is Lars and I am a veteran from Greenland." I sat down beside him. There is a wisp of alcohol as he spoke. He offered me a cigarette to which I politely declined. He told me his story. An Eskimo from Greenland, he became a soldier in Denmark. Then he became a mercenary and was stationed in the Faroe Islands, Iceland, UK and Germany. "I fought fierce ...

My wife Ruth and I are traveling till Oct 1. And my travelogue is posted on my FaceBook. Driving out of Manchester on a Monday afternoon, we encountered heavy traffic along the way. A huge queue had already formed on the motorway. But there were no chaos, no honking and no irate drivers. Everything was orderly. There is an unwritten rule governing the "Give and Take" of driving etiquette. To take, one must first give. The one entering gives way to the one on the motorway in the queue. The one behind him in the motorway then gives way to the one trying to enter as he had earlier given way. He now takes. And so it goes, alternating between the one entering and the one already on the motorway. It works perfectly. The traffic was orderly and everyone took turns to join the queue. The traffic moved along smoothly. We arrived late in Windermere without making reservations for accommodation. We were hungering for adventure and were counting on finding B&B join...

I am pleased to share with you this special personal journey from my guest Danielle Chan. She is one of the kindest and most compassionate person I have met. She is who she is because of what she has. Be Kind, Include Us. I have two boys; my older son is 16 and was diagnosed with Attention Deficiency, Autism and Dyslexia when he was 7 years old. Around 8 years of age, my younger son who is now 12 years old was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Because of them, I went for an informal diagnosis for myself and discovered that I also have Attention Deficiency Disorder all along. The 3 of us would often joke with their father that out of the four of us, he is the only abnormal one in the family. This reminds me of the movie “Planet of the Apes”, where apes were the norm and humans were the outcasts. The norm is defined as the majority. But that number which constitutes as the majority is not an absolute, it changes doesn’t it? It is not a constant. Recent medical research indicate...

I have always been fascinated by religions and studied it at graduate school overseas. As a Christian, I do believe that we must respect the choices people make in regard to religion. It was therefore a singular honour for me to be conferred the Abdeali Tayebali Lifetime Achievement Award by the Family Trust. I hope my acceptance speech and what my friend Dr. Gervis wrote will encourage you to let kindness to one another be the unifying factor for all of us, whatever faith tradition we embrace, or for that matter, no faiths at all. Acceptance Speech for the Abdeali Tayebali Lifetime Achievement Award Minister Sim Ann, Senior Minister of State, Ministry of Culture, Community and Youths; Mr. Ameerali Abdeali, Chairman of the Abdeali Tayebali Family Trust, Your Excellency and my dear friend, Ambassador Kesapany, members of the Board of Trustees, leaders of collaborating organizations - the Singapore Indian Association and the Jamiyah Islamic Centre - distinguished guests...

On the eve of the New Year, I posted on my Facebook the following: "I got up this morning reflecting to myself the following 12 lessons I have learnt and relearnt in the last 12 months: H ave time for things that count which are usually beyond counting.  A lways live with positive Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.  P eace starts with me and it begins with a smile.  P rayer is not instructing God, it is simply reporting for duty.  Y ou can decide to do the right thing each and every time. N o matter how you feel, just Get up, Dress up and Show up, for the best is just ahead of you.  E arn your self-respect for no one owes it to you.  W ork smart while working hard.  Y ou can forgive everyone and everything for it will release you from self-destruction.  E nvy is a waste of energy, you already have all you need.  A ttune to the idea that what others think of you is none of your business.  R ealize that there is a poverty tha...

“The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul... Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.” - G. K. Chesterton. It is often said that New Year’s resolutions are made to be broken. I certainly hope that is not true of us. I do believe that it is a good time to make some simple resolutions. Since people do not care about what we know until they know that we care, it is good to resolve to walk the talk. It is cheap to talk about values without practising them. This New Year I resolved to practice good neighbourliness even as we promote it as a movement. A friend of mine who manages a cleaning company created a calendar for 2015 with a series of cartoons. It is titled “Kindness and Consideration” . It occurs to me that that is precisely how we can practically show care to our neighbours....

I grew up in a kampung in the 50s when I started school. In our community we had Chinese, Malays and Indians for neighbours. We had no running water and our homes were lighted up by a common generator. Kerosene lamps were quite common. We shared a common kitchen for several households, a common well and common toilet facilities. We were a ‘commonwealth’ for we share some common wealth of simple necessities of life. One of our neighbours was a Malay teacher. He was single and he lived alone. I used to visit him and he taught me Malay and Jawi. I learned to write Jawi script which is constructed from right to left. It was much later in life that I learnt Hebrew and Arabic at college level, and realized how these languages are inter-related. My Malay neighbour was very kind to me. Not only did he teach me bahasa he also taught me Malay folk songs and stories, some of which I still remember. Songs like Chan Mali Chan and Ikan Kekek still ring in my ears. My favourite s...

Today, Lucas, my grandson started his internship with the Singapore Kindness Movement (SKM). I am very glad that he chose to come all the way from Canada to intern here. And it leads me to reflect on the notion of internship. Internship is an effective programme for anyone interested in learning hands-on what a particular job entails. It can be a temporary position with an emphasis on on-the-job training, similar to an apprenticeship. For people who are not sure about what they want to do, and it serves as a trial. It can also be for students who are looking at the prospect of entering a course of study in a particular discipline and wants to know what it is like to be in that industry. Or it can be a time for students to be exposed to the working world in a realistic environment. From the employers’ perspective, internship can provide them with cheap or free labour for low-level tasks. Stereotypically, interns had been treated no better than “tea and office boys” in the...

There have been much emphasis and focus on the importance of safety in the workplace. A safe working environment not only protects employees, but also increases productivity when workers are happy and healthy. A strong WHS culture means that there is lower frequency of accidents and injuries, reducing interruptions, which allows the company to complete their projects on time. Research from The Academy of Management Perspectives has shown that employee well-being has a significant impact on the performance and survival of organisations by affecting costs related to illness and healthcare, absenteeism, turnover and discretionary effort. We are on the right track to a safer working environment in Singapore having introduced safety regulations, awards and training programmes in recent years. However, transformation of an organisation’s culture has to happen from the inside out rather than the outside in. Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Transformin...

“You look like Grandma,” exclaimed my niece. We were visiting mother’s niche at the columbarium. My sister and I and members of our family make it an annual ritual to do so around this time – between Easter and Mother’s Day. Yes, I do look like my mother, and I hope I am as kind and gracious as she was. May I share with you some of the lessons on kindness and graciousness I learnt from her. “Always be respectful – know your place,” I can hear her saying in Teochew. Recently, Prof Tommy Koh, who taught me Criminal Justice when I was a final year law student, introduced me at a university forum as his friend. I felt very complimented but I could never bring myself to call him by his first name. “Once a teacher, always a teacher,” my mother would say. My mother’s idea of respect is to address your senior respectfully, so “Prof Koh” he is and will always be to me. My children are no longer children, of course. They are professionals in their chosen fields, and two of the th...

The 2014 Winter Olympics was held in Sochi, Russia, from 7–23 February 2014. A total of 98 events in 15 winter sport disciplines were held during the Games. I received several emails from a Canadian friend about acts of kindness that took place at the games. In the men’s 1,000-metre race, Canada’s top long-track speed skater Denny Morrison had forfeited his chance to race in the finals when he failed during the qualifier. His younger and less experienced team-mate Gilmore Junio had qualified. In a gracious and generous act of sportsmanship and team-spirit, Junio decided to yield his rightful place to Morrison. He said, “How Denny is skating now, I believe it’s in the best interest of the team if he races…”  “This is an amazing gesture and I’m ready to make the most of this opportunity”, said Morrison, who promptly twitted publicly to thank his team mate. Long track speedskaters Denny Morrison, right, and Gilmore Junio arrive home from the Sochi Olympics in Calgary. ...