Wan of a Kind V2.0

Sharing a meal with my family in Kyoto  Last year was especially significant for me. I became a septuagenarian! In my honour, a couple of good friends, Soo Inn and Bernice, reprinted 47 of my published articles in a book aptly titled Born in ’47 . Born in '47 - A Life In Writing The WAN tribe of 10 descended from the USA and Canada to celebrate. For the first time in years, we had our family vacation in Kyoto. And for the first time in years, Ruth and I took a cruise around the Mediterranean and the Baltic, spent some time in Northern England and Scotland and Spain. Over the years I have been to many of these places because of work, but I have not been good at taking vacations. However, this time around, I felt it was time to vacate my usual work routine and do something different. It was a “working vacation” – interviewing folks on the cruise about living well and leaving well – a book project I am working on. Last year has also been literarily productive. ...

My wife Ruth and I are traveling till Oct 1. And my travelogue is posted on my FaceBook. Driving out of Manchester on a Monday afternoon, we encountered heavy traffic along the way. A huge queue had already formed on the motorway. But there were no chaos, no honking and no irate drivers. Everything was orderly. There is an unwritten rule governing the "Give and Take" of driving etiquette. To take, one must first give. The one entering gives way to the one on the motorway in the queue. The one behind him in the motorway then gives way to the one trying to enter as he had earlier given way. He now takes. And so it goes, alternating between the one entering and the one already on the motorway. It works perfectly. The traffic was orderly and everyone took turns to join the queue. The traffic moved along smoothly. We arrived late in Windermere without making reservations for accommodation. We were hungering for adventure and were counting on finding B&B join...

I am seventy and I feel that life has just begun. This feeling is shared by many septuagenarians. May Sarton has written At Seventy: A Journal and Judith Viorst, I’m, too Young to be Seventy . Both are funny, warm and positive. Judith is certainly “glad to be alive” and does not see it as the autumn of life. “The autumn of life,” writes Sarton, “is … a matter of saying farewell, but the strange thing is that I do not feel it is autumn. Life is so rich and full these days. There is so much to look forward to, so much here and now…And right now there are hundreds of good letters to answer and hundreds of bulbs to plant. I do not feel I am saying farewell yet but only beginning again, as it used to be when school started.” I love these positive life-affirming women, full of vigour and humour. They are good representatives of the spirit of active ageing, of which I am an ambassador. So, why do I feel that it’s spring at seventy? For me, it is about being in good health. I...

I am pleased to share with you this special personal journey from my guest Danielle Chan. She is one of the kindest and most compassionate person I have met. She is who she is because of what she has. Be Kind, Include Us. I have two boys; my older son is 16 and was diagnosed with Attention Deficiency, Autism and Dyslexia when he was 7 years old. Around 8 years of age, my younger son who is now 12 years old was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Because of them, I went for an informal diagnosis for myself and discovered that I also have Attention Deficiency Disorder all along. The 3 of us would often joke with their father that out of the four of us, he is the only abnormal one in the family. This reminds me of the movie “Planet of the Apes”, where apes were the norm and humans were the outcasts. The norm is defined as the majority. But that number which constitutes as the majority is not an absolute, it changes doesn’t it? It is not a constant. Recent medical research indicate...

I have always been fascinated by religions and studied it at graduate school overseas. As a Christian, I do believe that we must respect the choices people make in regard to religion. It was therefore a singular honour for me to be conferred the Abdeali Tayebali Lifetime Achievement Award by the Family Trust. I hope my acceptance speech and what my friend Dr. Gervis wrote will encourage you to let kindness to one another be the unifying factor for all of us, whatever faith tradition we embrace, or for that matter, no faiths at all. Acceptance Speech for the Abdeali Tayebali Lifetime Achievement Award Minister Sim Ann, Senior Minister of State, Ministry of Culture, Community and Youths; Mr. Ameerali Abdeali, Chairman of the Abdeali Tayebali Family Trust, Your Excellency and my dear friend, Ambassador Kesapany, members of the Board of Trustees, leaders of collaborating organizations - the Singapore Indian Association and the Jamiyah Islamic Centre - distinguished guests...

Every now and then, I meet someone who could not hide his surprise upon receiving my business card.  “Is there that much to do in the business of kindness?” is one of the questions politely posed to me.  When I mention that there is so much to do that we need 20 fulltime staff to do it, the mild surprise turns into utter amazement. So what do I do as General Secretary of the Singapore Kindness Movement (SKM)?  To begin with, I lead.  A movement by its very nature requires someone to lead it.  Since taking on this assignment at SKM, I have been featured in two books on leadership.  Changing Lanes, Changing Lives by Richard Hartung highlights a number of private sector senior executives who left their profit-oriented businesses to lead not-for-profit organizations.  All of us have a common passion, namely to “do good well”, to quote Willie Cheng who wrote a whole book about it, aptly titled Doing Good Well. I am convinced that leadership is even more...

Interior of the main dome of the former Supreme Court building Photo: Supreme Court of Singapore I was called to the bar in 1973, and in the same year, I had the opportunity to appear before the late Chief Justice Wee Chong Jin in the High Court on a contentious matter involving four members of a family. It was a rather unfortunate case because I was representing the mother and sister against two other siblings who were disputing over a settlement of the family estate upon the death of the patriarch of the family. The case was heard in the Old Supreme Court Building which is now the National Gallery.   As a rookie lawyer, still wet behind my ears, I was awed by the very ornate court room and chamber of the Chief Justice.  Many famous cases were heard in this magnificent building, and perhaps the most historic of all is the war crime trials of members of the Japanese military in 1946. In my view the most professionally meaningful symbol in the building ...

Yesterday was Father’s Day. Many of us, no doubt, seize the occasion to reflect on the challenges and joy of fatherhood. I posted on my Facebook that I am a proud and happy father and I thank God for all my three children. On my Instagram I posted a picture with my three children, Li-Ann (42), Li-Lynn (39) and my son (35) with these words, “Only yesterday, we were huddled on one couch…” Li-Ann posted on her Facebook a set of my pictures with the following remarks, “Happy Father’s Day to a real Renaissance man, though you will always be “Dad” to me. xoxo”. Li-Lynn posted on hers: My son and I talked on our facetime. 42 years have passed since I became a dad for the first time. How did I manage as a father? I guess, their messages answered my questions in part. Strange that none of us went to school to learn how to be a father, but somehow we managed. I grew up with an absentee father for the most part. He was, from my recollection, a friendly s...

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” - Mahatma Gandhi. In an internet article, The Fallen Stars: Regret or Relief? , co-authors Tan Wei Yuan and Loh Chuan Junn posed the sobering questions, “Why do celebrities choose to end their lives when it seems like they have everything in their grasp?” They highlighted a number of young performing artistes who have chosen to make their own lives. In chronological order, these include: Marilyn Monroe (1926 – 1962) Age: 36  Kurt Cobain (1967 – 1994): Age: 27  Leslie Cheung (1956 – 2003) Age: 47  Heath Ledger (1979 – 2008) Age: 29  Ai Iijima (1972 – 2008) Age: 36  Choi Jin-sil (1968 – 2008) Age: 40  Jang Ja Yun (1982 – 2009) Age: 27  Park Yong Ha (1977 – 2010) Age: 33  Each and every one of them possessed looks and talents worth dying for! All were extremely successful in every material sense. Yet not of all of them lived past 47 years of age for all c...

I am privileged to chair an ethics committee of a hospital and it reinforced in me that in order to determine what is or is not ethical we do have to do some critical thinking. In watching TV documentaries about animals, I am constantly made aware that there are certain intrinsic similarities between humans and the rest of living things. A good example is found in the way motherly instincts are expressed in both worlds. That said, however, there are many behavioural differences that transcend the power of instincts. I can’t imagine a pack of hungry lions deciding not to attack a stray buffalo simply because they feel sorry for the off-springs of its prospective prey. In our effort to think ethically, I am reminded of the statement “The unexamined life is not worth living.” The claim that an unexamined life is not worth living, often attributed to Socrates, a critical philosopher of the 5th Century, is subject to many varied interpretations. Whatever the interpretation, it ass...

“You look like Grandma,” exclaimed my niece. We were visiting mother’s niche at the columbarium. My sister and I and members of our family make it an annual ritual to do so around this time – between Easter and Mother’s Day. Yes, I do look like my mother, and I hope I am as kind and gracious as she was. May I share with you some of the lessons on kindness and graciousness I learnt from her. “Always be respectful – know your place,” I can hear her saying in Teochew. Recently, Prof Tommy Koh, who taught me Criminal Justice when I was a final year law student, introduced me at a university forum as his friend. I felt very complimented but I could never bring myself to call him by his first name. “Once a teacher, always a teacher,” my mother would say. My mother’s idea of respect is to address your senior respectfully, so “Prof Koh” he is and will always be to me. My children are no longer children, of course. They are professionals in their chosen fields, and two of the th...

by Guest blogger Sabrina Ma, 16, a senior high student from San Jose, California I came to Singapore expecting to be surrounded by uptight conservatives, arrested for chewing gum, and walking on sterilized sidewalks doused in antiseptic. But, as I stepped into the SKM office for the first time, with kindness paraphernalia littering the floor and embellishing the walls, and gregarious members of the SKM team greeting me, all of my stereotypes were shattered. Hi! I’m Sabrina Ma. I am 16 a year old senior from San Jose, California. As a high school student, I’ve faced my share of Goliaths, ranging from intense stress induced by academics competitiveness to self-consciousness induced by the societal depiction of beauty. Desiring to make high school a bit more bearable, I established a club at my school called the Acts of Random Kindness (ARK) Club, which has become pretty impactful in my (and surrounding) communities. Desiring to spread kindness utilizing social media, my friend and I ...