Wan of a Kind V2.0

Some of my friends have asked me why I have stopped blogging. The truth is I have been busy writing my book Through the Valley: The Grace of Ageing and Dying Well . Now that I have completed it, I will try to blog more regularly. Please accept my apologies. I am a champion of good neighbourliness and have been promoting the idea that we can be friends by choice even though we are neighbours by chance. Over the years, I have reached out to my neighbours by organizing Let’s Makan and initiating greetings and other social contacts to develop friendship. And what have I to show for my effort, you may ask. Truth is, there is latent kindness in all of us – waiting to be unlocked by simple initiatives of reaching out with a smile, a word of greeting, a simple conversation and an opportunity to have a drink or a meal together. Here’s how my neighbours have responded to us: One evening, I came home after work only to find that my wife was not in and I did not have the house key wi...

A few days ago, a Friend of 50 years shared with me a story over dinner.  Her lady friend was comfortably seated on an MRT train when a pregnant lady boarded the train.  She stood up to give her seat to her but before she could take it, a young man rushed across her and took the seat. The young man settled down and started to wear his earphones and began watching a show on his iPad, completely ignoring the pregnant lady in front of him. It was obvious to him, and everyone else around that just-vacated seat that it was meant for the pregnant lady as the one who gave it up was still on the train, now standing next to the pregnant lady. Unfortunately, no one spoke up for either the lady who gave up the seat or the pregnant woman who was meant to be the beneficiary of that kind act.  It was a classic case of the bystander effect. The kind lady who gave up the seat then spoke up.  "Hello," she said ever so gently, "I gave up the seat for this lady, not for you," p...

Dear friends, Hello, it’s me. Pun on Adele’s song aside, it’s been almost four years since the launch of this blog in August 2012. Thank you for giving me the privilege and pleasure sharing with you my thoughts and ideas on kindness, and I hope I have gotten more people alerted and interested in some aspects of kindness.  It is with a tinge of sadness that I am now announcing the closure of this blog. This is part and parcel of revamping our site. We are renaming our new editorial site, The Pride . It is a content-driven site that will bring fresh insights on current affairs and community happenings that has some relevance to our mission to foster a kinder and more gracious society. We want this new platform to be more engaging and interactive. I will contribute op-eds and social commentaries on issues relevant to kindness, as a member of the editorial team. It is time to change from being the sole writer of my own blog on kindness, to being a staple contrib...

Yesterday was Father’s Day. Many of us, no doubt, seize the occasion to reflect on the challenges and joy of fatherhood. I posted on my Facebook that I am a proud and happy father and I thank God for all my three children. On my Instagram I posted a picture with my three children, Li-Ann (42), Li-Lynn (39) and my son (35) with these words, “Only yesterday, we were huddled on one couch…” Li-Ann posted on her Facebook a set of my pictures with the following remarks, “Happy Father’s Day to a real Renaissance man, though you will always be “Dad” to me. xoxo”. Li-Lynn posted on hers: My son and I talked on our facetime. 42 years have passed since I became a dad for the first time. How did I manage as a father? I guess, their messages answered my questions in part. Strange that none of us went to school to learn how to be a father, but somehow we managed. I grew up with an absentee father for the most part. He was, from my recollection, a friendly s...

In the wake of the Charlie Hebdo tragedy, many have commented on the episode in our newspapers. Most of it is focused on the question of the extent of freedom of expression, and responsible journalism, especially when the discourse has to do with religion in the context of our own multi-religious ethos. Not surprisingly, of course, there is an outright condemnation of the terrorist attacks. Even on social media discussion, there is overwhelming agreement that the attacks cannot be condoned, let alone justified, and that the perpetrators must be brought to justice. A far more divisive discussion, is whether or not Charlie Hebdo had somewhat provoked the situation by its disrespectful satire of religion. Many seem to follow the line of thinking that freedom of speech isn’t freedom from consequence or freedom from responsibility, and that if one decides to pull the tiger’s tail often enough, at some point in time, the tiger is bound to bite back. Having said t...

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” - Mahatma Gandhi. In an internet article, The Fallen Stars: Regret or Relief? , co-authors Tan Wei Yuan and Loh Chuan Junn posed the sobering questions, “Why do celebrities choose to end their lives when it seems like they have everything in their grasp?” They highlighted a number of young performing artistes who have chosen to make their own lives. In chronological order, these include: Marilyn Monroe (1926 – 1962) Age: 36  Kurt Cobain (1967 – 1994): Age: 27  Leslie Cheung (1956 – 2003) Age: 47  Heath Ledger (1979 – 2008) Age: 29  Ai Iijima (1972 – 2008) Age: 36  Choi Jin-sil (1968 – 2008) Age: 40  Jang Ja Yun (1982 – 2009) Age: 27  Park Yong Ha (1977 – 2010) Age: 33  Each and every one of them possessed looks and talents worth dying for! All were extremely successful in every material sense. Yet not of all of them lived past 47 years of age for all c...

Last Saturday, I attended a Thanksgiving Service to honour the work of my college mate, the Rev Dr. Kang Ho Soon. After serving continuously as a pastor for 42 years, he is due for retirement. The sanctuary was filled with more than a thousand family members, colleagues and friends, including members of the Inter-Religious Organization in their religious garbs. It speaks volumes for the man who was all things to all people who, moving forward, seeks only to be there for all and sundry who need a pair of listening ears. In sharing his vision for life, he quoted Robert Byrne, who reputed to have said, “The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” The idea that life should or ought to have a purpose resonates with many. In 2002, Pastor Rick Warren wrote a devotional book The Purpose Driven Life . The book resonated with so many that it stayed on the New York Times Best Seller list a very long time. It also topped the Wall Street Journal and the Publishers Weekly be...

"A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing." - Laura Ingalls Wilder Recently, I texted a friend to forward an email address to me. She promptly replied that her PC crashed. “I am sorry,” I responded, tongue-in-cheek. “I hope you are not hurt!” In a jiffy, she replied, “You misunderstood me; there is no physical crash. I mean to say that I cannot email you because the system is not functioning.” Some of us are very intense. We take everything rather too seriously and we often miss a jocular moment. We can be very hard on ourselves and we go about life with a perpetual frown as we struggle along with an albatross around our neck. The good book says, “Laughter is good medicine.” In fact, there is enough evidence to suggest that to bolster immunity, relieve stress, and alleviate pain, we need to laugh a little. As Laura Wilder says, "A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds ...

One of my goals when I first took on this role a little more than 2 years ago is to raise public awareness of kindness and the need to be kinder. I had this vision that if we could implant kindness in the public consciousness, we will create a destiny where kindness becomes a way of life. In thinking this way, I am influenced by Mahatma Gandhi who said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.” Today I am gratified to note that we are more aware of kindness and graciousness than ever before. More people are talking and writing about it in various media. I take it that more people resonate with it because they believe in it, and are thinking about it. Take the last 3 days (August 5-7) for instance. The following are just a sampling of the buzz about Kindness and Graciousness in our newspapers. Mo...

Two simple words but for many Christians around the world, they speak volumes. For them it is a very significant time in their religious calendar as they celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ whom they worship as the Son of God, the Messiah and the Saviour of the World. Two minutes ago, I received this email from a Hindu friend: “Regardless of one's religion, Christmas is a time for counting our blessings and offering thanks! I am blessed to have known you. I wish you and your family Merry Christmas, Happy 2013 and HAPPINESS always!” I am glad that in our multi-racial and multi-religious nation, we are able to join our Christian friends in their celebration regardless of our own faith traditions. As Singaporeans we celebrate each other’s special holy days including Deepavali (Hindu), Vesak Day (Buddhist), and Hari Raya Puasa (Muslims). These holy days are gazetted public holidays for all Singaporeans. About this time last year, I read a piece by the Sultanah of Johor, Raj...