Wan of a Kind V2.0

Some of my friends have asked me why I have stopped blogging. The truth is I have been busy writing my book Through the Valley: The Grace of Ageing and Dying Well . Now that I have completed it, I will try to blog more regularly. Please accept my apologies. I am a champion of good neighbourliness and have been promoting the idea that we can be friends by choice even though we are neighbours by chance. Over the years, I have reached out to my neighbours by organizing Let’s Makan and initiating greetings and other social contacts to develop friendship. And what have I to show for my effort, you may ask. Truth is, there is latent kindness in all of us – waiting to be unlocked by simple initiatives of reaching out with a smile, a word of greeting, a simple conversation and an opportunity to have a drink or a meal together. Here’s how my neighbours have responded to us: One evening, I came home after work only to find that my wife was not in and I did not have the house key wi...

I am seventy and I feel that life has just begun. This feeling is shared by many septuagenarians. May Sarton has written At Seventy: A Journal and Judith Viorst, I’m, too Young to be Seventy . Both are funny, warm and positive. Judith is certainly “glad to be alive” and does not see it as the autumn of life. “The autumn of life,” writes Sarton, “is … a matter of saying farewell, but the strange thing is that I do not feel it is autumn. Life is so rich and full these days. There is so much to look forward to, so much here and now…And right now there are hundreds of good letters to answer and hundreds of bulbs to plant. I do not feel I am saying farewell yet but only beginning again, as it used to be when school started.” I love these positive life-affirming women, full of vigour and humour. They are good representatives of the spirit of active ageing, of which I am an ambassador. So, why do I feel that it’s spring at seventy? For me, it is about being in good health. I...

Dear friends, Hello, it’s me. Pun on Adele’s song aside, it’s been almost four years since the launch of this blog in August 2012. Thank you for giving me the privilege and pleasure sharing with you my thoughts and ideas on kindness, and I hope I have gotten more people alerted and interested in some aspects of kindness.  It is with a tinge of sadness that I am now announcing the closure of this blog. This is part and parcel of revamping our site. We are renaming our new editorial site, The Pride . It is a content-driven site that will bring fresh insights on current affairs and community happenings that has some relevance to our mission to foster a kinder and more gracious society. We want this new platform to be more engaging and interactive. I will contribute op-eds and social commentaries on issues relevant to kindness, as a member of the editorial team. It is time to change from being the sole writer of my own blog on kindness, to being a staple contrib...

I am pleased to share with you this special personal journey from my guest Danielle Chan. She is one of the kindest and most compassionate person I have met. She is who she is because of what she has. Be Kind, Include Us. I have two boys; my older son is 16 and was diagnosed with Attention Deficiency, Autism and Dyslexia when he was 7 years old. Around 8 years of age, my younger son who is now 12 years old was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Because of them, I went for an informal diagnosis for myself and discovered that I also have Attention Deficiency Disorder all along. The 3 of us would often joke with their father that out of the four of us, he is the only abnormal one in the family. This reminds me of the movie “Planet of the Apes”, where apes were the norm and humans were the outcasts. The norm is defined as the majority. But that number which constitutes as the majority is not an absolute, it changes doesn’t it? It is not a constant. Recent medical research indicate...

I have always been fascinated by religions and studied it at graduate school overseas. As a Christian, I do believe that we must respect the choices people make in regard to religion. It was therefore a singular honour for me to be conferred the Abdeali Tayebali Lifetime Achievement Award by the Family Trust. I hope my acceptance speech and what my friend Dr. Gervis wrote will encourage you to let kindness to one another be the unifying factor for all of us, whatever faith tradition we embrace, or for that matter, no faiths at all. Acceptance Speech for the Abdeali Tayebali Lifetime Achievement Award Minister Sim Ann, Senior Minister of State, Ministry of Culture, Community and Youths; Mr. Ameerali Abdeali, Chairman of the Abdeali Tayebali Family Trust, Your Excellency and my dear friend, Ambassador Kesapany, members of the Board of Trustees, leaders of collaborating organizations - the Singapore Indian Association and the Jamiyah Islamic Centre - distinguished guests...

On the eve of the New Year, I posted on my Facebook the following: "I got up this morning reflecting to myself the following 12 lessons I have learnt and relearnt in the last 12 months: H ave time for things that count which are usually beyond counting.  A lways live with positive Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.  P eace starts with me and it begins with a smile.  P rayer is not instructing God, it is simply reporting for duty.  Y ou can decide to do the right thing each and every time. N o matter how you feel, just Get up, Dress up and Show up, for the best is just ahead of you.  E arn your self-respect for no one owes it to you.  W ork smart while working hard.  Y ou can forgive everyone and everything for it will release you from self-destruction.  E nvy is a waste of energy, you already have all you need.  A ttune to the idea that what others think of you is none of your business.  R ealize that there is a poverty tha...

According to the latest National Values Assessment, conducted between March and June this year, family, friendship and compassion are among the top values that Singaporean residents feel best describe themselves. The survey provides some preliminary insights into what matters to Singapore residents, and generates a meaningful discussion about the society and workplace environment they desire. "We have left the idea of community and family so far behind, and focused much more on what policy can do, laws can do, and what we have to earn in order to survive. So you have to re-ignite that sense of family and community, which people want to express more of," said Dr Gillian Koh, senior research fellow at the Institute of Policy Studies. It is very encouraging to compare the results of this second survey with the first done in 2012.   Then, elitism and deteriorating values were listed as common traits in society. That these traits were not among the top 10 in the cu...

Yesterday was Father’s Day. Many of us, no doubt, seize the occasion to reflect on the challenges and joy of fatherhood. I posted on my Facebook that I am a proud and happy father and I thank God for all my three children. On my Instagram I posted a picture with my three children, Li-Ann (42), Li-Lynn (39) and my son (35) with these words, “Only yesterday, we were huddled on one couch…” Li-Ann posted on her Facebook a set of my pictures with the following remarks, “Happy Father’s Day to a real Renaissance man, though you will always be “Dad” to me. xoxo”. Li-Lynn posted on hers: My son and I talked on our facetime. 42 years have passed since I became a dad for the first time. How did I manage as a father? I guess, their messages answered my questions in part. Strange that none of us went to school to learn how to be a father, but somehow we managed. I grew up with an absentee father for the most part. He was, from my recollection, a friendly s...

I have just received some copies of the latest Infocus , a Ministry of Manpower publication for employers of foreign domestic workers. The cover story Kindness is the Movement is an interview I gave to its writer. What are some ways in which employers can help FDW adapt to living and working in Singapore, I was asked. Though we had never engaged a FDW, I had spent periods of time with families with FDWs and I shared some of my observations of the way FDWs are treated that facilitated their happy adaptation. They include, The children addressing them as aunties – there is respect shown to them They are given good accommodation, meaning, their rooms are adequately furnished They have television set and watch local news and other programmes during their rest times They are encouraged to read local newspapers They are given a day off and encouraged to explore Singapore They eat out at the same table with their employers like a family member. I bel...

On Wednesday 18 th of February, more than a billion Chinese around the world welcomed the dawn of another lunar new year. In traditional Chinese astrology, different animals symbolize the character of the year in a twelve-year cycle. This New Year happens to be the Year of the Goat. Some prefers to call it the Year of the Ram, and yet others, the year of the Sheep. In Mongolia, they prefer their gazelle! There are people who debate about which is the correct animal. According to an official Xinhua news agency, some scholars argue goat is a better option for the traditional Han Chinese holiday, as it is a more commonly kept farm animal for the dominant ethnic group in China. But many Chinese folklorists think that the debate misses the point. What is important is the connotations of the sign rather than the specific nature of the animal. The symbol 羊 (yang) can refer to any member of the caprine family. For example, a goat is a "mountain yang", a...